The thing I really like about the whole “have you got Prince Albert in a can” gag is that I have no idea what the hell Prince Albert was, and so it always seemed like, yeah, let the dude out! Jesus christ, who do you think you are, stickin’ some guy in a can?

And these days a Prince Albert is a cock piercing. So take that, confusing old joke that already didn’t make sense in the first place: now you’re filthy, too!

I was just about to say something about how this sort of joke doesn’t really seem to play anymore anyway — it’s almost always a joke about it even being a joke, I guess — but then it occurred to me that Bart Simpson has been pulling this shit for like twenty years now. So I don’t know if that’s a knock against me or against Bart or against people who still credulously answer odd questions over the phone.

But anyway, do any of you out there in readerland know what the hell Prince Albert was/is? Do you have some? Email me if you do. Educate me. I can’t stand this mystery.