What I want to know is what happened in the minutes or hours before we come upon this scene.  Clearly, a contact lens has been lost and a heart broken, but what is chatty dude doing here?  Are they friends?  Was his buddy all like, hey, man, I really need to talk to you about something that involves me and jumping off of this cliff?  Or was it just a happenstance meeting on a nature hike?  “Hi, howareya?” “Suicidally depressed…” “Well that’s a sha–OH DAMMIT MY CONTACT”

There are a lot of near-the-city park and wilderness spaces in Portland, OR (home of the bunt cake corporate offices), and every once in a while if you go hiking around in ‘em you’ll just come across a happy 40-something naked dude, just him and a fanny pack and a walking stick living the nudist dream.  I’m not really sure where I’m going with this except to say that if that ever happens and the guy wants help looking for a contact lens I’m not really sure what I’d say.